its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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