so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
last night I used snow as a chaser
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
