I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
