Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
