After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Randomize