I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
