how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
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