My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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