did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
