If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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