I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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