just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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