its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize