The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
not ubering you a puppy
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
