the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Congratulations! We have a period
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