This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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