You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
