I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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