I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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