As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
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