Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
