Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
