Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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