Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize