I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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