Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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