My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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