pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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