you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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