Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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