he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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