Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
