Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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