tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
