Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
