Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
