Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
