On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Randomize
