I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize