A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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