Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
