im drinking this country out of the recession.
wanna go halves on a baby?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
