Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize