Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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