he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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