idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
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