normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We need to get me chipped asap
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
