Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I still have a little drunk in my system
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize