dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
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