We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
