I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
