you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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