Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
