You just made me feel so damn special
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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