i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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