I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
should my penis look like a turkey
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
