Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
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