Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I just googled if crying burns calories
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
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