How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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