Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
