I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I pour the whiskey from now on
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
